Solicitude
by Kittendreamz
Summary: When it seems that Tohru’s wish to break the Sohma curse and Kyou’s bond to Akito is out of reach, Hitsuzen changes the life of both her and her ‘family’. Just how much will Tohru sacrifice to free her friend?
1. Restive

**Solicitude**

**Chapter One**

_**Restive**_

Rain pattered against the window in a rhythmic cadence that normally would have worked to calm and sooth the nerves of the girl staring out into the storm shrouded night, sitting atop her bed to gaze outside. The sound of the drops echoed upon the roof, and through the heavy fall of rain she couldn't see the trees surrounding the house, everything obscured by the gales of wind and rain that beat into the hard glass.

With a heavy sigh, Tohru looked down vacuously at the blank page of paper in her journal, shifting into a position more comfortable on the bed. She wished it would stop raining. For days now it had rained, locking the house's inhabitants inside when not at school or work, and even she was beginning to become restless. She couldn't do much in the stormy weather. To Tohru, the rain only served a reminder of her continued failures and what she still needed to accomplish.

_This hasn't gotten me anywhere._ In a bout of frustration Tohru fell back into the covers, letting the journal fall from her lap haphazardly. Staring at the ceiling with her hands to either side of her head she gripped the blanket beneath her tightly. Weeks, months, a year, how long had it been now that she had determined to break the curse? How many times had she failed? Every time was like a clamp digging deep into her heart, realizing that she'd only found another dead end. Nothing helped, and yet she could feel the deadly icicles of graduation creeping closer as time ticked by.

It was _time _that she didn't have.

Fingers tightening until her skin shone white, Tohru worked to still the panic within her chest. Clenching her teeth she blinked away the tears that had gathered to form beneath her eyes. _Don't go. _

Please_ don't go._

In all the time that had passed not a single memory had faded from her night with Akito at the beach house. As clear as water it remained etched into her mind and the more desperate Tohru began to feel, the louder the god's words rang.

'_Don't get conceited you little bitch._

_If you think you can "save" Yuki or Kyou, you should be ashamed of your arrogance. Let me tell you…I'll tell you the truth. Kyou will be __confined__ just as soon as he leaves high school. Just like the previous cat before him. For his whole life. _

_Until he __**dies**_

_And Yuki will return to the family compound with __me. All__ of them will live and die with __me__. All of the Jyuunishi will live in the same home following the same path. No one comes in, and no one will be stolen away. Always remaining __the same_

_A__ happy__ future._

_An endless __banquet_

_Unchanging_

_**And I won't let you join us**_'

Choking on a suppressed cry, Tohru shook her head vehemently struggling with all her might to make the memory fade. It lingered painfully, a dull ache in her chest. Lips quivering, she released the blankets before scrubbing furiously at her eyes. It didn't help. The action was wasted effort as new drops sprung anew.

_It isn't fair!_

Sobbing uncontrollably, she turned onto her stomach, and buried her face into the covers. Her muffled cries shook with each gasping breath she took, her body shuddering beneath the weight of her tears. It felt like her heart was being slowly stolen from her chest. It hurt. Every part of her body _hurt._ The pain was unbearable.

_I don't want you to go._ Conjuring Kyou within her mind she could see him perfectly; his awkward smile, his bright, orange hair, and crimson red eyes. She wanted to reach out and grab him, protect him somehow, and despite how _badly_ she wanted to save him from harm, she had failed to discover how. Graduation was a month away. They would walk down the aisle together, receive their diploma…and then he would be gone. He would disappear from her life _forever_.

The tears redoubled.

Breaking away from the bed, Tohru used the sleeves of her pajamas to fruitlessly wipe away her tears, pacing the room in frantic misdirection in a hopeless effort to calm her self. The chaotic movements seemed to only encourage her restless feelings. Confined and feeling powerless, Tohru opened her bedroom door and stepped out into the chilly air of the hall.

The entire house was quiet. Everyone had already retreated to their rooms for the night. Kyou had barely even bothered to eat dinner, merely picking at his food. She had watched him at suppertime. It had been obvious to her that he had only come down and attempted to eat in an effort to make her feel better about his own health. He never seemed to eat much when it rained. It bothered her. It was then that it was most important that he keep up his strength.

This time around she hadn't eaten any more than him.

Choking back another sob, Tohru blinked in surprise to find herself stationed before his door. She had not even remembered walking over to it. Mind buzzing, she stared at the wood blurrily before looking down. Her hand was held a hairsbreadth from the sliding handle. She lowered it uncertainly, her eyes wide as her bottom lip continued to tremble. _What am I doing?_ She questioned herself through the fogginess controlling her actions. _I'll wake Ky—_

The door slid open.

Eyes shooting wide, Tohru stood paralyzed before the door, her body rendered completely still. Inhaling sharply, she found she could not move, her dark brown eyes frozen upon a garnet gaze. Swallowing, she tried to think past her surprise, think of anything. Her mouth opened but no sound came out.

"Tohru? Wa-what are you _doing_?"

She felt the tear trickle down her cheek as she stood motionless, unable to speak. Kyou's eyes widened. Caught like a deer within headlights, she did not move. Her voice caught within her throat.

"Hey….hey! What…why are you _crying_?" Kyou asked her, his voice full of shock as he looked down at her. Panicked, Tohru shook her head. She didn't know why she had walked to his door. She hadn't meant to. Now that she had made such a careless mistake, she had drawn his attention. Backpedaling in dread, she searched for a way of escape.

"I…I had just wanted to climb up onto the roof." She blurted unthinkingly. Immediately she wished she had her words back. Even to her own ears she knew how stupid it sounded. There was no way a person would believe something like that, especially in this kind of weather and hour. A look of incredulity crossed his face.

"The _roof_?" He asked dubious, looking at her like she had to be insane. "What are you, nuts? It's pouring rain outside, you'd catch a cold!"

"Ah, I don't-! I mean, that I just…that is…or…I had just wanted to check on you…" She amended. Horrified with her self, Tohru felt foolish. Even as she spoke, the tears continued to trickle down her cheeks in a steady stream. It was like the dam held in place to watch over her emotions had been lifted. She tore her face from his.

"S-sumimasen!" Bowing in apology, Tohru stared through the fog clouding her eyes at the floor. "I…I guess it looks as though you're fine though, so I'll j-just be leaving now!" Rising to spin on her heel, Tohru moved to retreat as quickly as possible, feeling an uneasy pit in her stomach. _So stupid! _She mentally berated her self. _What in the world am I doing?_ Irrationally, she had thrown out the first words that had come to mind without even thinking things through. When emotional, Tohru knew she had a tendency to act impulsive, but right now she really wanted to be clearheaded. She needed to be in control of all her actions. _I feel like an idiot._ She wanted to flee into the recesses of her room as quickly as possible.

She didn't make it two steps.

"Hold it."

If the firm command in his voice hadn't stopped her, the hand on her head would have. Tohru felt the warmth of his fingers fall over her head, covering her hair as he stopped her in her tracks. Swallowing, she tried to dry the tears from her eyes, drawing in a shaky breath as she did. Deep down she knew Kyou wouldn't have let her escape like that. Not when he knew she was obviously upset.

Before Tohru even knew what happened she found herself spun back around and facing him again. His cat-like eyes creased as he stared down at her.

"It's not like I can help you if you don't tell me what's _really_ wrong. You wouldn't be shadowing my door in the middle of the night if there wasn't something bothering you. I'm not _that_ drained because of the rain." Voice rough and gentle, he prodded her lightly. She could feel the question in his voice. "It's okay you know…I don't mind listening to your complaints." His mouth tipped up to quirk into the hint of a smile, a teasing jest tugging at the corners of his lips. "I'm used to it already."

Feeling her heart strings tug as his words, her eyes began to pool fresh with tears. Shaking her head, Tohru buried her face within her hands. She couldn't tell him. Every inch of her wanted to pour her soul out to him. But she couldn't. She knew what he would say if he discovered what she was trying to do.

He'd tell her to stop. He'd tell her to mind her own business and that it had nothing to do with her. She couldn't _ever _accept that.

"I'm sorry." She gasped. Choking on her tears, her throat was tight as she tried to speak through the pain gripping her chest. "I'm _sorry_." Her answer was inadequate, Tohru knew, but it couldn't be helped. Inhaling weakly, she struggled for air. Quietly, she sobbed into her hands.

She was hardly aware of the subtle movement before her. Only her own cries echoed within her head and Tohru found it difficult to hear anything beyond them. It was only moments later that she suddenly felt Kyou's hand lower from the top of her head to the back of her neck. Eyes shooting wide, she abruptly felt her self tugged gently forward.

Hands falling from her face, Tohru's breath stilled. A tanned arm was positioned across her companion's torso, coupled by her own two hands which he had captured, creating a barrier between their chests. Immediately the fresh scent of _him_ filled her senses. Alarmed by the proximity and aroma her breath caught. He was so _warm_ and Tohru felt ice cold. Her room had been freezing. The heat of his chest pressed against her forehead spread through out her skin, somehow managing to sooth the ache that had begun to rise within her head. This was the closest they had ever embraced.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Pressed against his chest she could hear his voice from deep inside. It was calming, a low rumble to her ears. She let it wash over her completely, soaking in his presence. "Just don't stress yourself out. You've done well." She could feel the soft tips of his fingers as he threaded his hand through her hair, before the bottom of his chin lightly came to rest upon the top of her head. "You're going to do just fine." Her fingers dug into the loose fabric of his shirt, and Tohru cried.

With her emotions already sprawled before him, Tohru let the tears fall undisguised now.

She clung to the material of his pajamas as though she never meant to let go. In truth, she probably never wanted to. His words had been so gentle. Even now she knew he had misinterpreted the meaning of her own, and the reason behind her tears. She wasn't surprised by it. There was no way that he could ever truly know.

The duration of the time she cried against him, he never moved, letting her use him as an emotional support. With her head buried against him, Tohru thought she knew now why she had unconsciously found herself outside of his door. It was clear. Whenever she needed him he was always there. Somewhere within the back of her mind she had sought out of the source of her comfort. Every once in a while she felt the hand threaded through her hair move in small, calming circles. The affects of his actions seemed to work like a drug. With a hiccup Tohru tried to dry her eyes on one of her sleeves.

"I think you got more of me than that sleeve."

"Heh." Tohru laughed weakly against him. Gazing at his shirt it was soaked where her eyes had been. She felt herself blush. "Gomen nasai," she murmured embarrassedly. Reluctantly, she pulled back from him and he released his hand from the back of her head. She felt the loss. Running a hand over her eyes she dried the tears still clinging to her lashes. She felt better, at least calmed for the moment. She smiled faintly. "I'll wash it in—_HICCUP—_t-the morning."

Looking up at him in surprise Tohru looked shocked at the sound that had come from her so loudly. "A-ah! I think that—_HICUP_—that…that I must have—"

"The hiccups?" He finished for her with an amused grin before another hiccup wracked her again. Tohru felt her cheeks flush and he chuckled softly. "Yeah, I noticed. Let's go downstairs and get something to drink. I'm thirsty anyway." Each one seemed to come in succession now.

Agreeing to his decision, Tohru moved away from him, her hands interlocking behind her back. It had felt too comfortable against him. The warmth lingered, and having drawn away made her want to reach back out to it again. _So greedy_, she thought, her cheeks red. She decided to speak to try and distract herself from her own thoughts. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. At this rate you'll probably get the hiccups too," she commented as they both moved quietly down the stairs, ending on another hiccup that wracked her body.

"Huh?" He intoned, obviously surprised by Tohru's comment. Slightly ahead of her, he turned around to glance at her over his shoulder. The look he gave her appeared to be of wary amusement. Tohru felt embarrassment color her cheeks, realizing how silly the comment had to have sounded to him. Out of all her friends, only Hana and Uo knew this particular belief of hers, and that was only because they had witnessed it several times when they had first become friends. Everyone always laughed.

"It…it's really just silly actually…" She mumbled. It was too late to disregard the comment. She laughed as she blushed. "When I was little…whenever my mom got the hiccups she would chase me around the house." The memory was as clear as day. She could remember it as though it were yesterday, even though it was so very long ago now. It turned her smile of embarrassment into something gentler. "She used to tell me that they were contagious. If you touched someone when you had the hiccups then you could spread it to that person too." Tohru laughed weakly. "Maybe it was because I believed her so much that I some how always got them."

Chancing a glance up at her companion out of the corner of her eye, Tohru felt her cheeks darken when she noticed Kyou covering his mouth with the back of his hand. It was a gesture she recognized. He was trying not to laugh.

"I knew you would find it —HICCUP— amusing." Though her cheeks colored, a contented smile let him know that it was okay. He turned an entertained smile onto her, and she felt a flutter in her stomach. It was not often that Kyou smiled like that. The expression was like a precious jewel that she wanted to treasure forever.

"Somehow I don't find it surprising." His tall frame broke away from her, and she watched as he walked to the cupboard, easily reaching down two of the cups that Tohru normally had trouble retrieving. She squeaked when he walked to the sink, snatching up the teapot. Eyes widening, she scrambled after him.

"Ky-Kyou-kun! It...it's still raining outside! You don't have to make...I can...iieee, let me make the tea!" Reaching out, she moved quickly to snatch the teapot from his hands—and gasped in surprise when it disappeared. The loss of the pot threw her calculations off, and her balance faltered as she suddenly began to crash straight for the floor. "Oh!"

Tentatively opening her eyes, Tohru felt acutely aware of the steadying hand resting atop her head. It was all that had prevented her fall. Tohru bit her lip in anxiousness. "But, Kyou-kun!" She stammered. His health was of the utmost importance, and she didn't want him to over-exert himself! After all, he had not eaten very much dinner, and it was already so late. The kitchen was her duty; she should take care of it.

"I'm not going to collapse doing something as simple as putting on some tea, I'm not _that_ weak." Not confident yet by his reassurance, she noticed that Kyou's hand remained planted on her head. It prevented her from continued attempts on the pot. He turned on the faucet, holding the teapot in the same hand. He had already put the cups down before her near spill, apparently. "Besides, I'm not the one who has been working my self up tonight."

Mouth twisting in dissatisfaction, Tohru thought that it was incredibly unfair to use her emotional state from upstairs against her. This was entirely different. Though her worries were not gone, for the moment she could tuck them away. Kyou on the other hand did not have a choice in his fatigue. Taking a step back, she wrung her hands anxiously.

"Is Kyou-kun hungry?"

"No."

She bit her lip before giving into a sigh. There really was not anything to do then. She saw him look at her out of the corner of his eye with a half-amused grin again. _He likes teasing me_, she thought dazed. Though he didn't always show it, and it could sometimes be in a round about way, Tohru thought that Kyou was actually very mischievous by nature. Giving up the battle _this_ time, she reluctantly walked to the table and sat down. Somehow, he always seemed to win these little battles. She determined that she would win the next round.

If there was a next one...

Tohru shook her head fiercely of the thought. _I can't think like that! I will break the curse. Somehow, I will break the curse. I'll protect Kyou._ If there was anything she could not allow to waver, it was the belief that she could definitely succeed.

Engrossed in her thoughts, she did not notice the movement next to her until she heard the scrape of a chair. Jumping in her seat at the sound, Tohru turned her head to see Kyou take a seat next to her. The water was already boiling on the stove. Embarrassed, she gave him a smile for her surprise. Her body hiccupped in greeting.

"So, when do you leave tomorrow? You're taking a bus, right?" He asked casually. Even sitting down, Tohru was aware of the large difference in height between the two. It diminished slightly when he turned to her. Head resting in one of his hands, he looked up at her from beneath.

Nodding her head in response to the questions, Tohru leaned back in her own chair, gazing at the wooden surface of the table. She kept her gaze away from his. When he looked at her like that, it felt as though his claret eyes could see right through her. Much to her shame, Tohru knew that she could hide things very well from people. When it came to Kyou though, he somehow always managed to break through her defenses. She did not like keeping things from him, but in some instances, secrets were essential.

"Yes, we leave right after school. I'm just going to bring the things I'm taking with me on the trip in the morning." She was not bringing much, and they were only going to be gone for a weekend. So close to graduation they could not afford more than a couple of days, and yet both Hana and Uo had suggested they needed a break to de-stress. There lied the problem though.

There was no way that Tohru could 'de-stress' when she knew that time in Tokyo was time taken away from discovering a solution to the curse. More importantly, it was time away from Kyou.

The last couple of days had consisted of pretending feigned excitement in the trip. It was hard to act excited, when she was feeling so miserable though. If it was under normal circumstances, Tohru knew that this would not be something she was regretting. As it was, she thought her friends expected that she was acting ungrateful for the time and money they thrown into this to make it fun and different for her. The thought that they might think she was unappreciative just made her feel worse.

"Worried about graduation?"

Startling again, Tohru looked back up at Kyou as though afraid he really _had_ seen through her thoughts. _He does that so often._ It could be the warmest and most unsettling feeling to have someone able to read you like a book. He could not know though. He was just exceptionally good at deciphering people.

"Um...sort of..." She answered honestly. She _was_ worried about graduation. There would not be any reason to lie about that. Taking a deep breath, she tried to sort out her thoughts, careful to make sure she worded things properly. "It's just...coming up so fast and all. I'm not really...ready for it yet..." It was a complete understatement. She was not ready for it at all. Too worried about Kyou, she could not focus well on her schoolwork and tests, but when she did not score well her friends would try to help, which only took away more time she could use to try to free him. It could all be rather frustrating.

"Well, just try not to let yourself stress about it. You only make yourself sick." He said in warning. Tohru nodded. Her friends had all told her that a lot the past few months. She could not afford to get ill. She kept her health in check with iron will. "Have you been looking into jobs or career paths?"

With a groan Tohru's head made contact with the table in agony. It felt like a black aura of doom had consumed her. _J-jobs...work...after school... _Her head spun in dizziness as one of her other fears attacked her. _W-work..._

"Hey...hey! I told you not to panic or stress didn't I!"

Arms falling to either side of her lifelessly, she turned her head to look up at Kyou from upon the table. Her face was the picture of stress and uncertainty. Her mind reeled relentlessly. _A place to stay...a job..._ Throwing so much effort into trying to ensure that Kyou could remain free, she had spent virtually no time searching for a job or place to stay after graduation. It was going to be a real problem.Her head swam. Kyou's voice was a low growl.

"Geez." A hand landed on her head to ruffle her hair, and Tohru slowly sat up once again, still feeling slightly overwhelmed. "I know you're worried about things," He said, more gently than a moment before. "But you've done really well. Besides, that's why we're all being put through those career activities in school." That was true. For those students not planning to continue their studies after high school, the school was very good about helping set students up for the future. But still...

They heard the pot begin to steam. The high-pitched noise filled the room and Kyou scraped his chair out, standing before she had a chance to move. _Kyou-kun is quick, even when it is raining_, she thought both impressed and bothered. It still should not have been him, but considering the toll the weather was taking on him, it just helped prove how strong he was. Lifting her hands, she placed them back on the table, staring at them deep in thought.

Shigure had offered his house to her, letting her know that if she wanted to continue living in his home after graduation, it was okay with him. Grateful for his generosity, Tohru had thanked him, and kindly refused. So many memories lingered within the house. When she imagined leaving, it was almost painful. If Kyou disappeared from its walls though...she could not bare to imagine. He had pressed that if she changed her mind, it would not be a problem...but she could not possibly.

Out of all the Sohma...Shigure was one of the few who knew her true intentions toward Kyou. He knew she was failing. It had been him who had told her how each of them regarded Kyou. The knowledge was something Tohru hated to try to accept. She wanted to believe...that Momiji, Haru, Kagura, and even Yuki and the rest of the zodiac...would want to prevent that fate from befalling Kyou.

"Oi," A sound came from behind her, breaking through the dark thoughts. Warmth spread throughout her hands, and Tohru blinked, looking down at the cup of hot tea now resting within her grasp. "Your hiccups disappeared."

Surprised, Tohru looked startled. She hadn't even realized they had faded away. They had disappeared on their own "Ah! Kyou-kun, you're right." Caught up in her thoughts, she had stopped paying attention. Drawing the tea to her, she deeply inhaled the aromatic scent. It worked to help sooth her nerves, clearing painful thoughts temporarily out. Taking a sip, it warmed her from the inside out. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Kyou-kun. You're really good at making tea!"

"It's not that hard to make..." He mumbled gruffly. Tohru thought he sounded slightly embarrassed but pleased. He never seemed to take compliments well.

"But still!" she chirped, her words genuine. "I really like Kyou-kun's tea best."

"You're weird."

Grinning, Tohru laughed in response. That was not the first time he had told that to her before. It happened rather frequently... In the end, it made her happy. It meant that they were comfortable enough to say what they wanted and joke with each other. _Kyou-kun's tea really _is _the best though._ She did not care if she only thought that just because he made it. It just made it that much more special.

"Ano...Kyou-kun?" Laughter fading, Tohru kept her fingers wrapped around the warmth of her cup. Eyes distant, she looked far away as she recalled one of their many nights together up on the roof. It had been her first time wandering up there alone. Since then she had wandered up multiple times. She did not know why, but somehow it felt most like _home_ up there. It was there she would disappear to whenever confused or upset. "Do you remember the first night you found me up alone on the roof? I had been gone for most the day."

"Yeah."

A look of mixed contemplation and curiosity grew on her face. She had selfishly gone out all day, getting into something that should not have been any of her business. In the end, Tohru had not helped anyone. She could remember that night clearly, when Kyou had found her. She looked back up at him to regard his face. "Is there anything...that Kyou-kun wishes for now?"

It was because she was watching him so closely that she caught the wide variety of emotions sweep his face. The intensity that radiated from him in that single moment took Tohru aback. It was as though a floodgate of emotion had been released from its confines, then quicker than she could react, was sealed tight again. Left to wonder if she had imagined the expressions that had crossed him, she blinked when two warm hands landed on her shoulders. The sudden proximity of his face to hers caused an instant blush to cover her cheeks.

"I wish for you to be happy." He said simply. "I want you...to be happier than anyone else in the world."

Stunned, Tohru could not pull her eyes from the tender intensity shining bright into her eyes. His crimson gaze was all consuming as he held her focus, an almost sad smile tugging the corner of his lips. All Tohru could manage to do was swallow. She felt small beads of water form beneath her lashes. The selfless wish washed through her. Faced with a future of grim loneliness and confinement...he could manage to say something so gentle...and for her.

"What do you wish?"

It took Tohru a moment to realize Kyou had fired the question back to her. Blinking back the tears that had formed to tremble on her eyelids, it took her a moment to shake away the shock. When Tohru's own wishes were so selfish, she had not deserved that kind of sentiment from him at all. Yet it touched her deeper than Kyou could ever know. She raised a hand to brush away the stray tear that had escaped her, and his hands and body moved back from hers. She regretted that it had disappeared.

"My wish?" Turning back to her tea, she stared past the steam still rising from her cup. Tohru sincerely wished so many things for her friends. It was painful to know that not all things wished for could come true. The one thing she wished for, continued to hope for, and pray for with all her heart, above all others...had not changed.

She sighed; a half amused half-apologetic smile on her face as she stared toward her unseen goal. It seemed so far out of reach, but Tohru would not give up. She never could, when the price of failure was too high. Tohru knew that no matter what it took, she would give all of herself to make her wish a reality. If only life could be that simple.

"I wish that Tokyo held the answer to all my problems."

OoOoOoOoOoO

_Authors Note_

_Wow! It's my very first chapter to my first full-blown fan-fiction, no one-shot this time. It is actually quite an accomplishment for me. I know I told everyone I would start a fanfic some day, so please forgive the long delay!_

_Well, my first fic turned out to be a crossover, though you might not know it yet! I never liked crossovers, so it is somewhat weird to be doing one, but somehow I think it works. I hope that everyone can enjoy it. My chapters might be very slow, because my forum and real life can be very busy sometimes, but I promise to try to stick it out to the end._

_Just for clarities sake, I think, at least from Fruits Basket's side of the story that the events I include in my own story end at chapter 116. After, the story really begins to hit its climax, and since Solicitude is different and is my own fan fiction, I cannot really have that happen yet. As for xxxHolic the time is not really too important. You can leave that up to your own imagination. _

_As far as I know, it is not mentioned which city Yuuko, Watanuki and friends live in. I could be wrong, but since I currently do not know I am going to assume they live somewhere in Tokyo. Watanuki''s apartment is the same as Chii and Hideki's in Chobits. I know that the both of them lived in Tokyo, so it is my educated guess. If I find out otherwise I will definitely change it. _

_And for clarity, I truly dislike some of Tokyopop's translations of the names. Kyou is Kyou (Not Kyo). For the "ou" before a consonant in a name though, I am keeping it with the "h" Tokyopop uses, because I think it looks prettier. I like pretty things. Therefore, 'Touru" is "Tohru" and 'Souma" is "Sohma". It is my personal preference, and as some like to say, 'to each their own'. _

_With that, I promise not be as long winded in the future (hopefully). _

_I hope you enjoy Solicitude then! Thank you for reading! The story will definitely pick up. I'm ready to get this show on the road._

Disclaimer

_I do not own Fruits Basket, xxxHolic or any of the characters affiliated within the anime or manga. The geniuses to those rights are Natsuki Takaya and Clamp, both wonderful and amazing storytellers. May they keep writing for many years to come._

_Kittendreamz_


	2. Searching for Hope

**Solicitude**

**Chapter Two**

_**Searching for Hope**_

"We're lost."

"Oh but...I thought for sure this was the right way!"

Panic wide within the bright brown eyes of the girl clutching a worn map, Tohru looked about frantically at the little lines and dots littering the paper. Not one of them looked anything close to their current position. _How is this possible!?_ Her thoughts were a spiraling frenzy. She had been following the map as carefully as she currently could, but some how it had all gone horribly wrong.

"Let me see that map." The crinkled paper disappeared from her hands and into the stronger grasp of her blonde haired companion. Tohru let out a vexed sigh.

Hana was right. They were lost. Normally this kind of event was not cause for celebration, but Tohru felt that today it was much worse. They had only finished getting un-lost the first time about a half an hour ago.

_Nnn, My sense of direction can't be that bad, can it?_

This couldn't possibly be how Hatsuharu felt.

Lost in her thoughts, Tohru had ceased to pay attention to her surroundings. It was the same as the first time they had gotten lost. Now it seemed to be the case again. _I need to stop doing this._ It wasn't unusual for the brunette to get absorbed in her daydreams. Kyou had warned her about zoning out several times within the past. She had worked to get better at it. Today it seemed she was doing a miserable job though. She was spacing out more than normal.

Flustered, Tohru looked anxiously at her two best friends, apology written across her face. "I'm so sorry!" Falling into a repentant bow, she bent forward several times. "I don't know where my head is! One minute everything matched up, and the next...ohhhh I don't even know what I was thinking!" Looking at the cement of the ground, she felt sincerely contrite.

"Hey...it's no big deal!" An arm wrapping around her shoulders, Tohru felt herself dragged back into an upright position. Uo had her arms around her in a supportive lock. A carefree smile lit the former Yankee's face. "Every road leads to somewhere, right? It's easy enough to find our way back again, and what's a trip without a little bit of adventure? Besides, I think we passed a bunch of neat places along the way." Though Tohru knew Arisa meant it, she couldn't help but still look down.

"Yes...the food at the restaurant Yorokonde looked quite good. Perhaps we should take a break to eat and rest for a bit." The lighter touch of Saki enveloped her, and Tohru knew that there was no use feeling sorry for her self. Her friends would only be upset if she did. A loud rumble sounded deep inside of her, and she felt her cheeks flush in embarrassment as she blushed.

Besides, she was feeling hungry...

"Hai..."

Both of her friends laughed.

Retracing their lost steps back far enough to find the restaurant Saki had mentioned, was not hard. Bristling with activity, the little pub was busy, but no more than it probably was on a regular Saturday. The smiling face of an older boy greeted them at the door. "Irasshaimasen! Welcome to Yorokonde!" Shown to their seats, they ordered their drinks and received a menu to look over while they waited for their server.

"Not bad for a little Japanese pub," Uo commented while she glanced over her menu. Tohru looked over hers as well. It did have a large selection. She wasn't sure what she wanted to eat. Although she was hungry, she didn't know what she was in the mood for. "Man I'm starved, good timing Hanajima! I hadn't realized I was getting this hungry until you mentioned it."

"I was in the mood for Ochazuki." The dempa responded. Tohru couldn't help but smile slightly. Hana was easy to please when it came to food. She seemed to like anything and everything. Sometimes her tastes could surprise her though. Scanning the menu herself, Tohru still wasn't exactly sure what she wanted by the time their server arrived.

"Good afternoon! My name's Yumi, I'll be your waitress today!" Clothed in a yellow uniform, similar to the one the boy who had seated them was wearing, was a pretty girl about her own age. Hair chopped short, she wore it back in two barrettes. A ready smile lit her face. "Are you ready to order, or would you like some more time?"

They started with Tohru first, and ended with Hana. After a small dispute over the check, Uo won the debate and it wound up that she would pay for their lunch today. Yumi flashed them an amused grin when they finally settled the bill. "I'll take care of it then! It'll be my pleasure!"

"Thanks!" The smile Uo gave the waitress was triumphant.

"Lighten up Tohru; we wanted to do something nice for you. It wouldn't be a treat, if we let you pay for everything. If you really want, next time you can take care of the tab." The blonde leaned back casually in her seat. With a yawn she stretched. "I'm just glad to get away from it all for a weekend. Man, I'm tired of all those tests! Don't the teachers care about their student's sanity? Any more and I think I'll die of boredom."

Unlike the students who were continuing on to university, those who planned to work right after school took tests that were career orientated, and participated in several activities. Although it was much less strenuous than what the college bound students took, it was monotonous and time consuming. In Tohru's case, vexing, because she still had no clue what to do.

"Anyway, this way it's just the three of us girls before we graduate. As much as school could suck sometimes, I'm going to miss it too." Glancing back up at her friend, Tohru watched as a wistful expression crossed Uo's face. "I've had a lot of fun together."

The soft sincerity in Arisa's voice was enough to draw Tohru's complete attention. The gentle smile her friend emitted made Tohru feel immensely guilty for her unenthusiastic behavior so far.

_U-Uo-chan..._

"Myself as well," interrupted Hana's soft voice. There had always been something calming within the dempa's smooth tones. Tohru could feel it now as she turned to regard her darkly beautiful, raven-haired friend at her other side. "I, too, will miss our days at school." A hand rested lightly upon her heart. "Even those hot days beneath the sun during gym class, when we had the mile run." Uo snorted in what Tohru thought sounded like skepticism.

"You actually ran?" The former Yankee asked in disbelieving tones. One eyebrow raised in doubt, her flat expression was enough for the other two, to guess the thoughts of their friend. Hana remained outwardly unfazed.

"Gym class was always hard, but I performed to the best of my abilities."

"Yeah...why don't you just come out and say that you bailed somewhere around the first couple steps..."

Watching the two of her friends bicker back and forth in a friendly manner, somehow the heartfelt atmosphere touched her. Up and down, her emotions seemed to fluctuate and change with even just a single word. Tohru was happy to have the chance to spend time with her friends. They had always been so supportive of her, and Tohru knew that those times they spent together in school she would sincerely miss. They meant a great deal to her.

"Me too." Though not as bright as her usual smile, Tohru gave her friends a soft grin of agreement. It wasn't that she wanted to be so down and out on their trip. So many factors prevented her from having peace of mind. There was no way she could describe things to them, but she didn't want them to ever doubt that she loved spending time together and being with them. They meant the world to her. "I'm really going to miss all those times too."

Two pairs of eyes turned to regard her a moment. The pause made Tohru suddenly wonder if she had said something strange, but before she had time to worry, an arm enveloped her from either side. Uo practically strangled her in an embrace, squeezing her tightly. Her emotional words were loud at the table.

"Dammit! I wish I knew what to do!" Confused by the words, Tohru felt herself squeezed tighter if possible. The arms of her larger friend were incredibly strong, and Tohru didn't really understand. _What to do...? _She thought perplexed.

"A-ano..." She started, trying to return the hug to her friend, while trying to breathe simultaneously. It was only then that the embrace started to loosen, and Tohru inhaled deeply for air. Arisa shot her a look of seriousness that suggested there was no argument in what she had to say here.

"No matter what we're always here, ya know? I mean...we're your friends."

Hesitant, the change in the behavior of her friend left Tohru bewildered by the adamant words. Uo often jumped from one emotion to the next. When passionate or even just bored, Arisa's mood could switch with mind-boggling speed. Sometimes Tohru had trouble keeping up. She wondered if this was one of those times. Chancing a confused glance toward Hana, Tohru met her unblinking eyes.

_I-Is something wrong? _She fretted silently. Perhaps she had missed something earlier, or said something inappropriate. Clouds of confusion rolled behind her eyes as Tohru uneasily searched for an explanation. It wasn't the typical behavior of her friends. Beside her ridiculous mishaps with the map earlier, she could not think of what else could be bothering them.

Stirring uncomfortably in her chair, Tohru twisted her fingers in her lap restlessly. Uncertain as to what to say, she fumbled with her words.

"E-Err...or...that is, um, tha— "

Arisa sighed loudly, and Tohru's eyes widened in anxiousness. "Ah! That— " she began, taking her friend's exhalation for annoyance. A hand landed atop her head to ruffle her hair. It cut of her panicked response before it could start.

"Don't worry about it."

"Don't...huh?" She asked. Obviously vexed, Tohru looked confused as she tried to piece together the thoughts of her friends. Each attempt fell short. She didn't understand what they were thinking, their attention so focused on her. Uneasy, she chewed the lower part of her lip, mind dizzy with confusion. She was diffident as she moved uncertainly to speak. "I...I'm sorry if I..."

"It's not anything like that." The interruption was quick, but soft. Though tired, the voice had been firm. Uo's hand fell from its perch on Tohru's head, to the surface of the table. Leaning on her elbow, she rested a cheek in her palm as she gazed ahead of them. This time she sounded half amused, with a touch of exasperation. "I should have known you would have reacted like that. I didn't mean to upset you or anything. You're so predictable."

_Pre-predictable?_

It seemed she heard that a lot from people. Kyou often said it to her too. Maybe it really was true... _I don't know if that is a good thing or bad._ It was something to ponder about for later.

"Anyway." Arisa's face softened as she turned her head back to Tohru with a probing stare. Each word was spoken with honest determination. "I just mean that if something is ever wrong, you know where to go, right? If you need help or are really bothered with something, we're here, okay? Both of us."

A light touch over her hand drew Tohru's gaze to her lap, where Hana's fingers wrapped gently around her own. Looking back up at her friend, she received an earnest smile.

"Yes...we both just want you to be happy, Tohru-kun. You deserve to _smile_."

Unsure what to say, Tohru blinked under the amount of attention she was receiving. The words had caught her off guard. _They're...worried about me?_ She thought in astonishment. Surprise fluttered across her face. Of all the people to worry over, Tohru needed it least of all.

The persistent words of her friends made sense now, except that she didn't know why they were acting so concerned over her. She couldn't understand the foundation for their worries. _I don't...deserve that kind of attention. _Had her fear for the well-being of her closest friend, mistakenly caused them to become troubled over her? The thought was upsetting. She didn't want to be the reason others fretted or worried.

_Right now, the one who is really...in a difficult situation, that person... isn't me._

Tohru could not explain the situation to her friends. They were both always so full of good advice; she sometimes wished that she could confide in them. There were some secrets though, that even Tohru herself was not supposed to know. As much as she wanted to tell them everything, free the insecurities and pain she kept sealed shut, and cry to her hearts content, she couldn't. The risk was just too great. She wouldn't gamble anything when it came to Kyou. How could she possibly hope to help him if her memories were erased?

_Uo-chan...Hana-chan_, she silently requested. _Please don't worry over me._

Warmth sprinkled across her cheeks, and Tohru smiled appreciatively, hoping to dispel any unnecessary concerns her friends might have. They were in Tokyo. The last thing they needed to be doing was worrying over her. Uo, had said it herself, right? It was supposed to be a nice break from school, a time to relax. She wouldn't allow them to waste it.

"Thank you." She truly meant it. Though it was not her self who needed those heartfelt words, it meant a lot to Tohru to know that her friends cared so much. Looking back and forth between the two girls, she knew that she had the two best friends in the world. "I really appreciate that you both take such good care of me. You two always go so far out of your way ... That's why...thank you so much!"

Squeezing Hana's hand in return gesture, Tohru flashed them both the brightest smile she could muster. _I really love you both so much._ Even with a depressed heart, the gratitude and love she felt for her friends never dimmed. She hoped they knew that she returned their sentiments. She would always be there for the two of them as well.

"Tohru..." The chocolate colored gaze of Arisa caught Tohru's eyes again, but before she could continue, Yumi arrived in the midst of their conversation.

"I hope the wait wasn't too long!" The waitress's brightly cheerful voice gently cut in. Each of their plates sat balanced on a wide tray. Without faltering, Yumi carefully began to set their plates before each of them. Tohru noticed that there were a couple extra plates placed before Hana. "Here we go...I think that should be it! Can I get you anything else?" Her eyes fluttered across their glasses. None of them had been touched.

"Um...I'm fine, thank you." Tohru assured her gratefully, while making it clear that she was not speaking for the others. Both of her friends quickly mirrored similar responses, and Yumi smiled cheerfully.

"Well then, I'll check up on you again soon! If you need anything, I'll be nearby! After all, it's my pleasure!" With a parting bow, the friendly waitress made her leave, and left the three of them to their food.

"That was pretty quick!" Tohru said, surprised that their time chattering together at the table had seemed to rush by without her notice. She hoped that with the interruption of their food, her friends might now be sidetracked from any concern or worry over her. More than willing to take advantage of the opportunity, she closed her eyes as she inhaled the scent of the takoyaki she had ordered. "It smells delicious. You were right Hana-chan, this seems like a great place to eat!" Clapping her hands together in appreciation, Tohru lowered her head in thanks.

"Itadakimasu!"

The blessing was quickly followed up by her friends and Tohru grabbed the chopsticks next to her for the meal. It wasn't that she hadn't been eating lately, rather, she had been without very much appetite. Now though her stomach was protesting her last week of skimpy meals. Maybe it was because they were out and about, but her body was demanding that she make up for a little bit of it now. Picking up the first piece, she relished the taste of the food in her mouth.

"Wow, Tohru, were you starved or what?" Eyes popping open, Tohru blushed at the comment. Maybe in her overzealous attempt to prove to her friends she was fine, she'd lost some of her manners. She really was hungry. Once the plate had been placed before her, it was as though her stomach had awakened completely. Trying to swallow the large bite she had taken gracefully, her free hand reached for the cup of water next to her.

"Perhaps she has not been eating enough at home..." Hana said in a soft voice that somehow always sounded concerned when in reference to Tohru. Wondering if the dempa really could read minds sometimes, the onigiri shook her head. _Though maybe it's a little bit true..._

"What? They're not keeping food from you, are they?" Shocked, the sudden question set Tohru sputtering. The food catching in the back of her throat, she choked on the bite she had attempted to swallow. Lightly pounding her chest, Tohru covered her mouth as she coughed in attempt to clear her air passage, only vaguely aware of the hands that had fallen atop of shoulders. Once she'd managed to achieve a breath of air, she shook her head frantically in denial to the accusation.

"Where did you come up with...? Th-that definitely isn't the case!" Inhaling deeply for air, she caught her breath, chest rising up and down quickly now that she was able to breathe again. Upset she passionately defended her friends. "Shigure-san, and the others, they'd never..! To think that-!" Ever since she had come to live with them, they had only ever shown her kindness. There was no way that they would ever do something like that! They were wonderful. She didn't want others to think something so horrible about them. "You have to believe me!"

"Whoa, Tohru, calm down. We're joking. Geez. Don't choke yourself," the blonde said, before giving into a laugh. "You always have such a strong reaction to everything."

_Joking? _Tohru thought tiredly, sinking back finally into her seat. It relieved her that her friends didn't think badly about the Sohmas. This happened a lot. Come to think about it, this wasn't the first time Uo had made a comment about getting reactions out of her. Glancing out the corner of her eye at Hana, she wondered if the dempa had been joking as well. For some reason, she seemed more serious now, than the former yankee.

"Anyway," Uo said, leaning back into her seat comfortably after taking a large bite of her own food. Now the group was finally beginning to dig into their meal. "How's orange top and the prince? They weren't jealous that they didn't get to go, were they?" An amused smirk on her friend's face, Arisa held her chopsticks conversationally off to the side as she spoke.

Neither of the boys had been invited to their current excursion. On their last trip, when their class had decided to visit Kyoto, Arisa had decided that the girls needed to go back, just the three of them together. When they had discovered that Tohru had never been to Tokyo however, their plans had quickly changed, which is why they were at their current location now.

"They didn't even look as though they wanted to come along." The blonde said with evident disappointment in her voice. She frowned in displeasure, unhappy apparently by the lack of protest the Sohma boys had given. Instead, the girls had been wished good luck, and told to enjoy their trip. It hadn't come as much of a surprise to Tohru, but Uo on the other hand…

"It was a real bummer."

An uncertain smile crossed Tohru's face. For some reason, her friends liked to make fun of the boys, especially Kyou. It almost felt like they treated it as a hobby. She was glad that both Yuki and Kyou were such good sports, though sometimes Kyou got a little angry…

Nervously scratching the side of her cheek with a finger, Tohru smiled uncertainly.

"Yes...well, Yuki-kun has been very busy with all the college prep tests. He's looked really tired of late. On top of all the studies he's had to keep up with, he still has student council work too." In between all of that, he some how still managed to find enough time to help Tohru through her own studies. It made her feel guilty to monopolize even a small amount of his time. She had taken to trying to do most the work on her own, without asking for his help, but he'd begun asking her personally himself after she stopped going to him. He had made sure to tell her that it wasn't a problem to help tutor her, and had ended her attempts at evasion. "I don't think he could find the time for a vacation right now, even if he wanted one."

"Then what about carrot top? He's in the same classes as us so he can't have any more work than the rest of us." A melancholic expression crossed her face. "I was looking forward to giving him a hard time."

"It would seem that Sohma Kyou has been rather preoccupied with his own thoughts of late." Looking at the food on her plate, Tohru fell silent, her chopsticks lowering. It wasn't just her, who had noticed their friend's decrease in resistance the past couple of weeks. Both Hana and Uo had too.

"Yeah, he hasn't been reacting to my usual prodding like normal. I wiped the floor with his ass last week in cards, and while I was celebrating my victory, he barely reacted." Confusion crossed her face. "It's almost like he hasn't even been trying of late. I don't know. It's just weird. It all just feels off."

The sudden appetite Tohru had gained was rapidly fading as the conversation veered into Kyou's recent atypical behavior. Unsure what to say, Tohru didn't voice her opinion right away, opting to remain quiet on the topic, until she could come up with an appropriate response and tame the rising emotions within her heart. It was because of the reasons listed by her friends, that Tohru's mind had been preoccupied all day. A ball of unease settled uncomfortably within her stomach.

"Kyou-kun...even though he might not always look like it, I...I'm sure that Kyou-kun has a lot of things on his mind right now too." So much so, that if it was Tohru, she'd already be sick with dread and fear. The very thought caused nausea to rock her. Bile rose within the back of her throat. She could not imagine the feelings Kyou had to be experiencing at this point in time, the panic and terror she would feel, because it was not a future she had ever needed to contemplate for herself.

_If I was Kyou-kun, right now my mind would be in chaos… _Somehow he acted so calm though, and didn't show any fear. Her hand clenched in her lap. It was the most frustrating thing of all. _Why don't you want to fight? Why aren't you trying to do something?_ He'd always fought everything before now, hadn't he? Now, when it was most important to stand up and do something, it was as though he was simply going to give in and surrender, without even a trace of resistance. _Kyou-kun…you idiot._

"Anyway, 1103 yen says he's been slacking off, and now that it's nearly graduation he's freaking out, because he hasn't figured out what to do with his life. That moron." Between the three girls, with the exception of Arisa however, Tohru knew that both Hana along with herself didn't have any definite decisions either. Uo was the most prepared out of their small group. She was fairly good at planning and keeping on top of things within school, as long as it didn't involve physical exercise. Living with her father had made her fairly independent from a young age.

"But," the former yankee continued in a tone of admission, taking another bite of her food, before speaking again. "Though he doesn't look like the type, he normally puts some form of effort into his work. He's always had some kind of strange values he's upheld, even despite that bad attitude of his."

"Yes...despite his natural unpleasant disposition, he is fairly industrious within school. It could be that he's been unusually focused. But lately it has been rather odd..." Tohru felt the dempa's gaze turn in her direction.

"Uh...has it?" Eyes dancing away, Tohru looked anywhere but into the probing gaze of Hana, her fingers itching to find something to do. It felt too much as though her friend was trying to read her mind, a feat Tohru knew to be impossible, but couldn't help but grow nervous over. Saki couldn't read thoughts, her abilities didn't work like that, but often enough she seemed able to guess close enough to what was bothering her. It could be a little nerve-wracking in a situation like this. Scooping up her glass, Tohru took a long drink of water. _Don't…don't think about things too deeply._ She tried to tell herself, glad for the minute distraction the cup offered. She couldn't look into the eyes of her friend.

"It's not just between our group that he's been acting strange either," Uo said, picking up where she last left off as though she'd never stopped to begin with. "I overheard some of the other boys in class. They said he doesn't even get riled up anymore, or if he does, he just mumbles something like 'forget it' and moves on."

"Most unusual..."

"D-do you think so?" Tohru kept her head buried in the glass, hiding behind the liquid in her hands. The back of her throat hurt, it was tight as she swallowed painfully.

"Not even the prince seems to faze him much any more. It makes you kind of wonder ifsomethingis up. "

"It is a little bit suspicious."

"Uhh..." Things were quickly spiraling out of Tohru's comfort levels. Sinking into her chair, she wished she could fade into the seat, or somehow shrink, struggling to clear the knot she felt she was choking on. She concentrated hard on the water level in her cup, trying to draw all her attention on it. A change of topic, they needed a change of topic, anything. She couldn't respond to these comments. If it kept up...

"Has anything happened at home at all, to make him act so weird?"

"Y-you think something is-" She began, barely finding her voice to try and manage the attempt at a light-hearted pitch.

"I am also curious," Hana interrupted in a smooth, even tone. "His wave patterns have felt strangely different of late. Not just the regular peculiar feeling I get from each of the Sohma in general. It is odd; I wonder...what could be causing him to feel so abnormal...?"

If it kept up, she was going to break.

With both pairs of eyes on her, Tohru was acutely aware as the warmth within her eyes began to trickle down her cheeks in an obvious act of betrayal. It felt as though there was an invisible spot-light, and it was shining directly onto her, the center of attention. Even the cup wasn't enough to hide behind now. Heart racing, she tried to breathe. _S-say, something to-_ Her mind was failing her as her body acted on its own. Why was the room growing blurrier? _Stop…stop flowing._ Why weren't they listening? The tears…

"I, um…" Her voice cracked, her mind working rapidly. Were her friends always so observant? What was happening? They were just asking questions, no big deal. It was nothing Tohru didn't already know. Just that Kyou had already given up…he didn't care. She couldn't tell them that though. She couldn't tell them anything, and in less than a month he was going to be taken away. In less than a month Tohru would never see Kyou again. He'd be gone. It would be like he'd never existed. It felt as though the world was falling out from under her.

_Stop…you…you _can't_ do this here._ She tried desperately to remind herself. Nothing was working. The warmth within her eyes wouldn't stop pooling. Floundering without a lifeline or anything to cling to, she did the only thing she could do under the pressure. "I…I need to use the restroom!"

She retreated.

"Oh wow!" Tohru said loudly, an automatic grin flashing across her face in all her exuberance. "This water's so good, I didn't even realize. We've been in here for a while now, huh? Ahaha." Pushing up quickly from her seat, Tohru grabbed her purse, setting her cup down as she swiftly rose to her feet. Before either girl next to her could react, she waved her free hand airily, signaling for her two friends to remain seated, while pushing in the chair she'd just rose from with her leg. Unlike the usual light tone within Tohru's voice, it was abnormally high and squeaky as she rushed to speak, not giving anyone a chance for interruption.

"I'll be right back, so you don't have to come with me or anything, just enjoy your food. Mine was really good; I can't believe I'm already full! Just goes to show how good food always seems to quickly fill you up! But anyway, don't worry about me, just stay here. I'll be really quick, so please excuse me!"

Escape in mind, Tohru hardly noticed the two astonished faces of her friends as she spun around and made her hasty retreat, making a beeline for the restroom as quickly as was possible. It wasn't until she got to the door, and had it halfway open, and a gentleman stepped out, that she even realized she had headed into the completely _wrong _direction. Horror spread through her face. Cheeks bright red, Tohru apologized several times, bowing her self backwards, before spinning back around on her toes.

"Ahahaha! Of course!" She squeaked, flustered as she walked past both Hana and Uo for a second time, her back straight as she pointed ahead of her embarrassedly, indicating the correct direction. "It's this way. Oops!" Too anxious to get out of there quickly, she nearly tripped on her feet the second time around, just barely catching her balance. Heading straight, she didn't look back, internally begging for safe cover. Once safe and sound inside the _girl's_ restroom, she fell back against the door, with a mixture of exhaustion and relief.

_What…what am I doing?_ Hands rising to her face, she felt the hot tears that sting her eyes, touching them in shock and upset to realize they'd just sprung to life on their own. Through the fuzziness within her head she heard a person uncomfortably clear their throat, and she looked up through her blurry vision to see a woman across the room, frozen in front of one of the three sinks before the mirror.

Of course she hadn't been alone.

"I…I have something in my eye." Tohru said miserably, before pulling herself up off the floor. Dragging herself into one of the stalls, she shut the flimsy door and locked it, before tearing off a large chunk of toilet paper. Blowing her nose, she tried to control her emotions, but the tears refused to stop their flow.

_Kyou-kun, you idiot._ Wiping at her tear-stained face with a new round of paper, she tried to focus on breathing, hoping that if she could master one body function, the rest would return to her. The center of her chest hurt, as though she'd overworked herself, and her body ached all over. It was a terrible day.

"H-How am I s-s-supposed to…to f…face Hana-chan and U…Uo-chan now?" With her body's betrayal, she had effectively ruined their trip, while undoubtedly turning things awkward between the three of them. She was just glad that they had allowed her this moment alone, and hadn't followed her inside. She was horrified and upset beyond belief, and unable to even explain the final trigger to her emotional explosion.

Unable to see through the tears blocking her vision, Tohru sniffled as she wiped her eyes, body shaking as she tried to control the sobs. The conversation had gotten to be too much for her. She knew more than anyone that Kyou was acting strangely, and the reason behind it. She couldn't remain calm, when she knew very well that Kyou had already given up.

_Fight! You have to! _What was he waiting for? She didn't understand. No person could ever be satisfied with a fate as horrible as that. She couldn't do it alone. No matter how hard she tried, nothing was changing because of her efforts. He was just going to disappear. How could he just do that? Her teeth clenched.

_Don't...don't you want to be able to stay together? _Hadn't Kyou once told that to her too? What was wrong with him? She was failing. Right now she was failing, and she couldn't see a path of direction. She'd been wandering around lost without a map the entire time. _I don't know what to do!_

Tears streaming down her face, Tohru tried to focus on the things she knew she needed to do in this moment. She used all her will power to fight off the temptation to simply give into her tears, and cry the rest of the day within the girl's restroom. Sooner or later, Hana and Uo would come looking for her if she stayed in there too long. When she faced them again, she needed it to be when she was at least coherent. They would both want to know what was wrong, but she couldn't tell them the truth, so she needed to try and come up with something that would satisfy them enough to leave the subject alone. Closing her eyes, Tohru took several calming breaths.

_I have a headache._

Taking one last breath, Tohru rested her hand on the lock to the stall, using her opposite hand to try and clear the liquid from beneath her eyes. It was hard to think when her body was pounding because of the outburst of emotion she had accidentally let escape. The restroom was incredibly stuffy. _If I step outside a moment for a bit of fresh air, I should still have a little bit of time. _Both Hana and Uo would give her a couple more minutes to compose herself, before they went in search for her. _I'll be able to think better out there._

Cautiously leaving the inside of the girl's restroom, Tohru peeked around the hall corner in both Hana and Uo's direction, not wanting her friends to see her exit the building. It was lucky for her that the wash room was so close to the exit. She would only be a minute. Safely free from the building, she leaned against the outside of the wall.

_I'm pretty much a wreck._ Staring up at the darkening clouds within the sky, she wondered how she was going to manage to hold herself together long enough to succeed in her mission, if she couldn't compose herself over mere discussion. The weather seemed to want to mirror her mood. It was just like hers, bleak and grim at the moment. At least the breeze felt good.

_I don't suppose Hana-chan or Uo-chan would believe I had gotten something in my eye. _Her sudden reaction was going to require a bit of explaining. She wasn't sure how though. It was too bad for the poor woman who had been in the restroom before Tohru. It must have been an uncomfortable position, and she hoped she had startled the girl too much.

_Why is it I can't be as strong as you?_

Without giving it any thought, Tohru unbuttoned a latch on her purse, her hand moving inside of it to retrieve her wallet. Opening it up, she stared at the picture that shone at her in greeting.

_You would have known what to do, Mom._

Melancholic, Tohru wished there was someone she could ask for advice. It was hard, when she felt so alone. There was no one there to help her accomplish the goal she had set out to do. _I'm trying._ _I'm not going to give up._ She hoped that if her mother was watching over her, that she was helping cheer her on. With another calming breath, she looked back down at the picture, and frowned at what she noticed.

_Ah...I didn't realize I had accidentally creased this before. _Within the upper right corner of the picture, she noticed the side folded in, as though it had bent incorrectly when she had first put it within the wallet. It made her sad. She was always careful with all of the cherished pictures of her mother. They were all she had left.

Gently reaching inside, Tohru pulled out the old photo, delicately smoothing out the bent corner inside. She wished that she had noticed it earlier; maybe she could have caught it before it would have left a permanent crease. _I'm sorry mom. _Today wasn't turning out to be her day.

_All right, there's no more avoiding it. _She couldn't stay outside forever._ Though I still don't know what to say…_ Right about now her friends were probably wondering if she was ever going to come out of the restroom. With her sense of direction today, it wouldn't be far-fetched for them to think she had become lost in the small space. Both were undoubtedly worried. "I'm such an idiot…" This time, she needed to keep unnecessary things, like tears, to herself. _Just stay calm._

Taking a deep breath, she thought she was as prepared as she could get. _Let's go, Mom. _Lightly handling the picture, to prevent any new creases from appearing, Tohru was taken by surprise as a fresh gust of wind blew past her. The current was stronger than she expected, the worsening weather picking up. The suddenness of the powerful draft tugged the small picture within her hand, and it caught the paper at just the right angle. Slipping out of her grasp, Tohru let out a horrified gasp of shock as the treasured memory lifted up out of her hand, and into the gusty air. Automatically reacting, she made a mad jump for it, but it was wasted effort. The picture was already outside of her reach.

Panic setting in, Tohru was speechless a moment, as the realization of what had just happened sunk in. _N-no!_ How could it be? Eyes wide, she could hardly believe the miserable luck she had. "M-mom!" Taking immediate pursuit, she ran after the photo, her gaze locked on it as she watched it drift up higher and higher on the breeze. There was no way she could allow herself to lose her mother's picture like that! "No wait! Come back-!"

_Kaze-san…! Kaze-san! Please stop, you have to give mom back!_ Nearly bumping into someone, Tohru shouted a harried apology as she maneuvered the Tokyo crowds. There wasn't any time to stop and give a formal apology, as much as she regretted it. If she waited even a second, she could lose sight of the picture. As it was, the photo was already getting farther and farther away. It seemed to twist and bend with the streets. "Kaze-san!" she shouted breathlessly. Was it natural for the wind to keep on this long? It felt as though fate was mocking her, on a day that she already felt down and out. _At this rate, I'm going to—_

Grinding to a halt, Tohru stopped just in time before the first of many cars rolled passed the spot that she had been about to step. Heart pounding, she swallowed the alarm that suddenly choked her. A half a step forward and she would have…

She couldn't even finish the thought.

Adrenaline pounding through her, Tohru felt tears of frustration well up within her eyes. _But mom…_ Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. Everything…no matter what she did, it felt like it always ended up like this. _Failure._ Discouraged she felt hallow and sick. _Something so small…and I couldn't even do it._ All the things most important to her in her life, was she just meant to lose them? She trembled under the weight of holding in her sobs, not even aware of the people stopping to stare at her.

"I…I just want to protect him!"

A single tear rolled down her cheek, falling to the ground below. Tohru opened her blurry eyes to stare down at it vacantly, when a tingling sensation crawled over her skin. Confused by the strange feeling, she looked up and immediately caught movement out of the corner of her eye. The color red rose above her, in the delicate fluttering of two beautiful long wings.

_A butterfly?_ It was too early in the year, for something as fragile as a butterfly to come out, when they still experienced several chilly days. It had to be the very first one of the spring. It fluttered about her a moment, before lifting up further into the air, catching the breeze and rising over the streets in a lackadaisical pattern. Her gaze followed its path, when her eyes caught sight of something else in the sky.

_It…it couldn't be-!_

Floating in the air, not far beyond the road, the picture of her mother still glided on the wind. _It should have been long gone by now! The wind had been so strong…_ Traffic had stopped, which meant that she could cross the road too. It was the pedestrians turn to go. _I can still catch it!_ She thought amazed.She could barely believe it was still there. The wind could act so strange sometimes. Racing across the street, Tohru took pursuit for the second time.

It wasn't so easily caught however.

_T-this is…ti-tiring_, Tohru thought in exhaustion, after following the picture for several more blocks. Feet beginning to drag her lungs struggled for air after the fast pace she had been running. It felt like she was about to fall over any second, and she was dizzy. _K-Kaze-san!" _she thought unsteadily. She'd never been very good at running to begin with. This was the hardest she had tried to run in a really long time. _I…I wont…give up…_

Off of the main road, about three buildings down, Tohru watched as the picture finally came to a stop, falling onto the less busy road. There was no traffic, only a couple of people scattered the street. Throwing the last of her energy into one last sprint, Tohru collapsed over the photo when her hand finally grasped it once again.

_BREATHE._ Bent over on the ground, Tohru gasped for air, her chest rising and falling roughly after the mad dash for the photo. Her heart was pounding so hard that she could physically feel it. Each breath stung as she gulped the cool air down into her lungs. _H-How do Kyo-Kyou-kun and Yuki-kun…how…are they able to…run even more than this? _Tohru's race against the wind hadn't even been half the speed that the boys were capable of and they were able to carry on much longer. She thought it was incredible. Any further, and Tohru thought that she would have surely collapsed from straining herself too far. She practically already was.

After numerous lectures from Kyou following the mile run within school, Tohru knew that it was smartest to get up, and slowly walk around. It was unsafe to immediately stop running, after setting such a hard pace. She was overly prone to becoming dizzy too. Holding one of her arms out to balance herself, she slowly moved to stand up—and felt surprise when her hand made contact with something solid.

_Huh?_

Looking to her side, Tohru stared at the spot her hand had landed, and blinked several times. Confusion was riddled across her face into a look of perplexity. Her mind spun. _Was…was this here a minute ago?_ Head tilting back, she gazed up at the tall wooden fence that she was now using as a support. Just a moment before, she would have sworn that there had been nothing next to her. There had been a large space, between two tall buildings. _How could I have not realized…?_ She _had_ to be tired. She wasn't always the most focused individual, but it wasn't as though the fence had just suddenly appeared.

She sighed. "This is what happens from lack of sleep." She'd berated herself all the night longwhen she had been unable to turn off her mind before her trip today. Sometimes, she just couldn't stop her thoughts.

Pulling back from the dark fence, Tohru took a step away to see what lie beyond it. She saw the peek of an oddly shaped roof, but couldn't see anymore, due to her small height. Glancing behind her, she noticed the opening and back tracked a couple of steps. Her head slanted to the side as she noticed the two tall side posts. Both were tipped with crescent moons. _It's strange that I vaguely remember passing these, but that's all…_ Maybe because they were so unique in shape, they had stood out to her more. Turning her gaze to the building however, Tohru didn't know how she could ever miss such a place.

Unlike any sort of house she had seen before, Tohru was amazed by its striking design, and wondered what kind of a place it could be. _It's so small compared to the buildings around it._ A beautiful cobble stoned walkway led to a pair of interestingly carved doors. She lightly touched one of the posts to peek around at the pretty sakura trees that were already within bloom in the yard.

It was then, that it happened.

"What…?" Taking a step forward, Tohru looked down at her legs in shock. Without even telling them to, they had just – "W-wait a minute!" What was happening? She could feel her legs automatically pulling her forward compulsively, her body refusing to obey her commands. She struggled to turn backwards, but it was like a puppet on a string, she could only move in the direction she was being told to. Alarmed, she began to panic as she fought against her feet.

"Wait…please stop! What are you doing? You can't just go walking onto people's property, it's not right!! Iiiiiiiii! Don't-! I-I Can't go in there! Stop!" What in the world was going on? Somehow her body had taken on a mind of its own, and she couldn't control it! This wasn't because she had overworked herself running after the picture, was it? This wasn't normal!

"I-I wont ever run that fast again!" Tohru pleaded, trying to bargain with her legs, as they took her up the stone path and toward the strange doors. This was impossible, except that it was actually happening. _Oh my gosh, I'm having a s-scissor, or a seizure!_ A normal person wasn't perfectly conscious during one of those though, were they? "I'll go on regular walks, o-or anything! I said _wait_! **Please**! _**Stop!**_" She shouted flustered. But none of her protests worked, no matter how much Tohru fought, and with her hand landing forcefully upon the door, she entered into the mystifying house.

OOoOoOoOo

Author's Note

_Oh my goodness, it's be a LONG time since my last update. I told you I was bad at those. One of my many talents is procrastination, much to my own dismay. I'm slow when it comes to fan fiction. I start so many different stories, and then decide to work on a different story halfway through it. I wonder if this could be the so called Gemini nature._

_Just to make sure everyone is clear on some of the terms used in this particular chapter, I'll list a couple of the Japanese words I used, that readers might not be sure on. I can't help it. My major's Japanese, and I think the particular words I use fit Tohru perfectly. They are Japanese after all. _

_**Ano**__ Um..._

_**Hai**__ Yes; okay_

_**Irasshaimasen**__ Welcome! So in this instance, "Welcome to our restaurant"_

_**Itadakimasu**__ Thank you for this meal; let's dig in (said before eating)_

_**Kaze-san**__ Kaze actually means 'wind', so what Tohru is actually yelling is "Mr. Wind! Mr. Wind!" Or "Wind-san"._

_Oh, and did anyone catch the little Clamp extras I threw in there?_

_That's all from me for now. I'll see you next time!_

_Chapter three will be from a different character's point of view!_

Disclaimer

_I do not own Fruits Basket, xxxHolic or any of the characters affiliated within the anime or manga. The geniuses to those rights are Natsuki Takaya and Clamp, both wonderful and amazing storytellers. May they keep writing for many years to come._

_Kittendreamz_


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